I’ll be keeping the domain name, and I’ll probably start up a new blog in the very near future detailing my plans, preparations and activities in regards to my year of teaching in China.  I’m currently looking for a good wordpress theme for that specifically.

I guess I feel like there’s no real need for me to keep old blog posts about this or that boyfriend or this or that crappy job that I hate.  My honeymoon with “public diary writing” is long over.  I’ll probably have a professional blog when I’m a teacher, and maybe a knitting blog when I feel a little more proficient.  But there’s no reason to keep record of the blathering nonsense of my late teens and early twenties.

This is a common theme in my life; I just found some old diaries, and instead of making me feel nostalgic or “treasuring” a time when I was naive and innocent, it just made me feel like a moron who still has a long way to go.  Erika said, “Well, at least you can see how far you’ve come,” but it didn’t feel like that.  I didn’t even keep regular diary entries; I only wrote things when I was particularly insecure or angry.  There’s no real value in that, I think.  I think the real value is the woman I’ve grown into; I’m braver now (at least, I think I am…let’s see if I actually get on that plane to Hong Kong next August…).  I’m more “together” and organized…I’m more dedicated to the things I want to do (look at my GPA, for goodness’ sake…who would have imagined that I’d get grades like this?).  I’m getting a worldview and I’m starting to like it.

I didn’t burn my diaries or anything; I’m not that detached from my teenage self.  But I’m not necessarily sure they’ll be worth keeping in storage when I get back from China and find a place to move and settle into.  I’ve got my photo albums and keepsakes from high school and college; I don’t necessarily need random babbles to fill in the happy pictures with glum shadows.  And I think that finally graduating in May will really put me in a different place.  I feel it coming.  And I have hope for who I’m going to be.  I think I’m going to forgo the New Years’ resolutions this year for some post-graduation resolutions.  Things like taking more pictures, going more places, learning more languages.

Ultimately, I’m feeling some insecurities starting to shed away, and I no longer feel the need to jot down my bad days or my social inadequacies.  At this point, graduation is inevitable.  With the grades I am certain to get this semester, I will be graduating in May with at least a Theatre Design/Production degree, come hell or high water.  Student teaching, therefore, is just part of the grand experiment.  I may get in front of a classroom and love it.  I may hate it.  But I’m going to do it and learn from it and go from there.  And suddenly, the knowledge that I’m going to graduate and actually finally pass this milestone in my life means that I’m an okay person.  I am someone who is more than capable of accomplishing things; I’m capable of excelling at things.  I didn’t just go back to college and graduate.  I’ve gone back to college and I’m kicking its ass.

That being said, it has become extremely unimportant to me to live a conventional life.  All my life, up until about a year and a half ago, whatever career I chose, whatever major I chose, whatever classes I took, all were secondary to the endgame: marriage, kids, family.  It was more tangible sometimes than others; mostly depending on whether or not I was in a relationship.  I would think, “Well, I’ll move to California…and then I’ll find someone.”  Or, “We’ll move to California and settle down.”  Or, “Okay, I can’t teach in California, so I’ll go to Atlanta…I’m sure I’ll find someone there.”  It didn’t even have to be a conscious thought; it was always just an assumption.

But suddenly, I find myself single for a year and a half, which is the longest I’ve been single since 2000.  And I’m going to move back to the suburbs in January, then to China in August (with a possible trip to Greece for several weeks next summer), then I’ll be moving to Atlanta.  I used to think that this was an acceptable plan with the flexibility to be cancelled “in case” I found someone.  I used to tell myself, “Well, I’m not going to look for a boyfriend because of all this traveling,” as a way to convince myself that it was okay to be single because I have all these plans.  Now the possibility of “finding someone” is no longer a necessity, because I’ve found me.

I’ve learned that the Katie I really want to be is not a wife and mother who other people depend on so she can feel validated and useful.  Instead, the Katie I really want to be is someone who sees as much of the world as she possibly can, spreads the joy and humanity of theatre, and gets in touch with her global community and history.  None of that stuff requires a significant other or children.  But it does validate me and make me feel useful, without being dependent on another person.

Besides, I’ve got a niece to spoil to pieces, and if I become a teacher, I’ll have plenty of people who depend on me.

Interesting how I came here to write a post about shutting down the blog and then I write one of the longest blog posts I’ve ever come up with.

Look for contact information as I start to whittle down the ways I can be found on the internet to be the most useful and beneficial to me.  I’ll keep updating this blog as I work through this process, and probably deleting very old, inane posts.  I’ll probably at least blog a little through student teaching and graduation.  We’ll see.

Please, feel free to comment.  I do, in fact, miss hearing from everyone.

1. What do you have in the back seat of your car?
Nothing! It’s clean! For once!

2. When was the last time you threw up?
End of June.

3. What’s your favorite curse word?
Frack.

4. Name one person who made you smile today?
No one, but I haven’t really talked to a lot of people. It’s still early.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Showering.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Sitting at my desk, waiting for a program to install on a Mac for a faculty member.

7. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Johnny Depp. Though, honestly, I could list at least 12.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
“Okay,” to my boss. He asked me to let him know when a program was done installing.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Mississippi Mudd.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Raspberry and Chocolate Hot Cocoa. I’m going to have some more as soon as I’m done with this survey.

12. What are you wearing right now?
A light blue dress with dark blue polka dots, brown flats, a gray sweater, and an off-white Old Navy fleece jacket.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Raisin bread with cream cheese. Luckily, I have not had to murder Erika yet, as she has not tried to eat any of it.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
The dress I’m wearing, and two shirts.

15. When was the last time you ran?
My freshman year at FSU. I went to the health center and ran a mile. Like actually ran it. And I didn’t die or anything. I really wish I’d kept that up.

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
The Padres/Dodgers game in San Diego.

17. Last movie you saw in theaters?
The Simpsons Movie.

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Brandon, to tell him he needs to record a song for me before he leaves.

19. Ever go camping?
Yeah, I used to all the time.

20. Were you ever an honor roll student in school?
A long time ago. Grade school was probably the last time, maybe Jr. High.

21. Do you like sushi?
I love it.

22. Do you have a tan?
Sort of. I have naturally olive skin from being a swarthy Greek. But sometimes it’s pretty light.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
If it’s a fountain drink.

25. Are you in love?
No.

26. Are you someone’s best friend?
Numerous people, as far as I can tell.

28. Where is your mom right now?
Probably at work, fixing people’s computers.

30. What color is your watch?
I don’t have a watch. I need to get a new one.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
The Rescuers Down Under, The Crocodile Hunter, “Ding dong goes the dingo!” from Jason Economus’ O.C. my junior year

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yeah, lots of times. I love roller coasters.

33.What is your birthstone?
Garnet.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Usually drive-thru.

35. What is your favorite number?
17

36. Do you have a dog?
No, but I have had them in the past.

43. What does your first memory of your sister involve?
I don’t have a sister. So N/A, I guess.

44. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
U.S. History homework. I don’t think I should have to do three writing assignments every week for a 100-level class that only meets twice. It’s just too much, and I keep falling asleep in my books or during the movies I’m supposed to be watching.

45. Last phone call?
Erika, asking me to make her a margarita for when she got home. Oh, except I got a message from Student Health Services today, too, about insurance information. But I don’t think that counts.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Sometimes pollen, but very very mildly.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Chucks.

48. What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently?
I’ve learned how to stop prolonging my misery. Now, putting it into practice may be easier said than done, but we’ll see.

49. Are you jealous of anyone?
People who aren’t in U.S. History.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
Unlikely.

51. Do You own an iPod?
Yesh.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
No. Unless you count Rae’s dogs. But my brother and sister-in-law are expecting at the end of January.

54. What do you work as?
Student worker in the IT department at the College of Arts and Sciences, and seamstress at a bridal shop.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
I’d like to think that I don’t actually hate anyone.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
26.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yeah, I should go again soon.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I have three scars with decent stories. One, on the front of my shin, is from shaving when I was like…14. I sliced my leg open and didn’t notice until later, and you can totally still tell where it happened. Another, I was skateboarding (which was not a common activity for me) and I hit a wire in the street and flew off, did a 180 in the air and skidded on my elbow. The first one I ever had was where I got hit in the face with a rusty shovel that some kids had dug out of a creek and were sliding down a playground slide. I was really little. My dad, the eternal hockey player, just put a butterfly bandage on it. Awesome. Though I think that scar gets a little harder to see every year.

————————————-

1. Do you wear a name tag at work?
No, thank God.

2. What kind of car do you drive?
2003 Hyundai Accent 2-door hatchback.

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell?
3 Tacos Supreme meal, hard shell

4. Have you ever had a garage sale?
Yeah, lots of times.

5. Is/was your best friend a cheerleader?
No, but Kimmy was in Poms in Jr. High.

6. What is your best friend’s favorite color to decorate with?
Do “Hanson Posters” and “Stuffed Animals” count as colors? Kimmy also likes blue, so she might decorate in those colors. Erika likes blue and brown, she decorates in those colors a lot. I don’t know so much about Tim. He doesn’t really decorate in colors.

7. What’s the most unique thing you have in your room?
A collector’s trading card with a piece of Chief Galen Tyrol’s flight suit in it. By nature, that’s probably the most unique thing.

8. What’s your mom’s mom’s name?
Angeline.

9.Do your bed sheets match your room?
Now they do! I bought some solid ones to match the color scheme in my room.

10. What’s the color scheme?
Green/black/white. It’s sort of Asian-themed.

11. What kind of cell phone do you have?
LG something or other.

12. What color is your iPod?
White.

13.. What kind of dog do you have?
I don’t have a dog, I have two ratties.

14. Have your older brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
No, they haven’t.

15. What is your favorite key chain on your keys?
The Strong Badia Stop Sign

16.Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?
Yeah, my mom and Kimmy for sure. Someone else may have.

17. What DVD is in your DVD player?
Fraggle Rock Season 2 Disc 4.

18. What’s something fun you did today?
Costume Design class is always fun. I enjoy that. I’ve also been walking around with my headphones on blasting awesome music. Does that count?

19. Who was the principal of your high school?
Dr. Jack Elliott, who tried to set me up with his son once. Ah, memories. Seriously, you’d think having the principal as your small group chaperone in New Orleans would suck. You would be wrong. Dr. Jack Elliott was awesome.

20. Has your house ever been TP’d?
Haha, yeah, and once by me. Oh, me and my high school friends were completely ridiculous.

21. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing. I’m in my office. I wish I had a way to hook up my iPod right now, but alas. I WAS listening to “Show Me” by Cham Pain on the way into the office.

22.. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart?
Back in the day, the fabric aisle, but that is no longer extant. *shakes fist at Wal-Mart* CURSE YOU! Where will I get $1 fabric now?!?!

23.. When is your mom’s birthday?
March 9th

24. When is your dad’s birthday?
November 12th

25.. What’s the area code for your cell phone?
309

26. What did you get for valentine’s day?
Nothing.

27. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now?
Dress. And I bought it at Bergner’s.

28. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?
Worry beads from Greece (which are sorely drained of color due to constant sun exposure) and a little angel that used to hang in my Grandma Adele’s car.

29. Favorite class last year?
History of Chinese Civilization, and Theatre History.

30. How many states in the US have you been to?
27 (if you count D.C.)

31. Which ones?
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, New York, South Dakota, Ohio, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington D.C., Wisconsin.

32. What kind of milk do you drink?
Skim.

33 What are you going to do after this?
Work some more, then I have two more classes today, one of which is horrible, and the other of which is fabulous.

34. Who was the last person you went shopping with?
Erika on Saturday, for the Halloween party and our costumes.

35 What is your favorite fruit?
Plums or cherries or peaches or apricots or pears or raspberries. No such thing as one favorite fruit.

36 What about your favorite dessert?
Chocolate Rush from Friday’s (R.I.P.).

37 What is something you need to go shopping for?
Nothing right now. Except maybe milk.

38. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
Similar names to my aunts Kathy and Sue. Though my brother and two of my cousins either have dated, are currently dating, or married a Katie of some kind or another. We call my brother’s girlfriend “Dave’s Katie,” which is cute.

39. What is your mom’s mom’s maiden name???
Sarelas.

40. Do you like pickles?
Yes. Especially sweet and sour pickles.

41. How about olives?
Yeeeees, so much. Kalamata olives in particular, but also black olives and manzanilla olives.

42. What is your favorite kind of gum?
Orbit Raspberrymint

43. What is your favorite kind of juice?
Orange, apple, or grapefruit. I’ve also trained myself to drink excessive amounts of cranberry juice if necessary.

44. Do you have any tan lines?
Yeah, on my shoulders. I think next summer I’m just going to go strapless the whole time, if I can manage it. I hate big strap/halter tan lines.

45. What hospital were you born in?
Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights, IL

46. Do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher?
Ms. Lyons.

47. What bank do you go to?
ISU Credit Union or Chase

48. Do you have someone in your life that you want to be with?
No.

49. Do you have a friend you secretly want to have no strings sweaty sex with?
No.

50. At your funeral, what would you want people to remember you most for?
Helping others and/or being a revolutionary. Fabulous costume designs. :P

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No, although I have an aunt named Kathy and an aunt named Sue, my parents swear it’s coincidental.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I got sniffly today when my dad was commenting in the talk-back after my play. He was talking about watching your daughter mature and how he liked to see the maturing of the characters and I got a bit weepy-faced.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Actually, no. I think it’s sloppy and juvenile. I wish it was classier or really zany. Not boring like it currently is.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Sometimes.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL? Special K or Life.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? That remains to be seen.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM? Mississippi Mudd.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their shoes. I typically look at the ground when I walk. I need to stop doing that.

15. RED OR PINK? Pink.

What happened to question 16?

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Jordan and my grandmother.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Not really applicable, though people are free to respond with the survey in the comments.

19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Red FSU shorts. I don’t have shoes on, but when I go out to the car in a minute, it’ll be black flip-flops with rainbow straps.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Spaghetti at Avanti’s.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sound of Erika watching TV downstairs.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Inch Worm. It’s the awesomest shade of green ever.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS? Hocus Pocus, Scarlet Oaks, Ginger Pumpkin (PartyLite candles). My grandma.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My aunt Debby.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I live with her, I’d better like her after all this time. :P

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Baseball, football, golf, tennis, figure skating.

28. EYE COLOUR? Blue.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, glasses are just easier.

30. FAVOURITE FOOD? Spaghetti.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings. I hate scary movies. Though, to be honest, happy endings have been making me a little nauseous lately.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? “A Mighty Wind,” I believe. “WHA HAPPEN?!”

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Black t-shirt that says “Frack Me” on it (thank you Dragon*Con!).

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer summer summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.

36. FAVOURITE DESSERT? Ice cream or certain kinds of cheesecake. Only because they stopped making the Chocolate Rush at Friday’s.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Tim.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Kim.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Nothing for pleasure. When I get ten seconds to myself, “Devil in the White City,” which Dan from work loaned me and I’d like to get back to him before I’m 130.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don’t have one; I use a laptop. <– what she said.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I don’t watch TV. Instead, I fall asleep with my face in my textbooks more often than I’d like to admit. Waking up at 2am asleep in “Major Problems in American History,” is not fun. FYI.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Halkidiki, Greece.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Not really. Sewing, I guess, but it’s not like I’m incredible at that. I can do it, but I’m not amazing just yet.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Arlington Heights, IL.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Nobody, since I don’t know who will read this and/or respond to it.

We teach in teams once or twice a semester, and while we are teaching, our fellow classmates are playing at being high school students. They do everything they can to be an unruly, crazy, disrespectful classroom. During Steven’s lesson a few weeks ago, Liisa “went into labor” in the middle of class, with her “water breaking” and everything. “The father,” David, almost got in a fight with Peter when Peter told him he should go and tend to Liisa. Crazy.

Anyway, the dirty looks we got from the class…unparalleled. They don’t understand. We’re the weirdos. And hilariously enough, we might be the ones most prepared to teach because we’ve had to go through the worst crap…just a thought.

…BECAUSE I’M WORKING ON OFFICIAL THEATRE SCHOOL PRODUCTIONS, BITCHES!

I have been given the following assignments for the ‘07-’08 school year:

FALL ‘07: Co-Assistant Costume Designer – Relatively Close by Jim Sherman
SPRING ‘08: Assistant Stage Manager – Ghosts by Henrik Ibsen
SPRING ‘08: Assistant Costume Designer – Tartuffe by Moliére

Relatively Close is a brand new play by Jim Sherman, so our production is the world premiere. Ghosts is Ibsen, so it’s probably Realism, because that’s what Ibsen does. And I have wanted to do a Moliére show forever; despite the fact that I’ve never read Moliére, I hear he’s hilarious and awesome. I AM SO EXCITED!

BALTHASAR:
Then she is well, and nothing can be ill.
Her body sleeps in Capel’s monument,
And her immortal part with angels lives.
I saw her laid low in her kindred’s vault
And presently took post to tell it you.
O, pardon me for bringing these ill news,
Since you did leave it for my office, sir.

ROMEO:
Is it e’en so? Then I defy you, stars!
But soft! What SMS through yonder RAZR breaks?

SMS ON ROMEO’S PHONE:
i’m ok — poison fake
rofl
cul8r
:-*

[ taken from McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Stories That Would Have Turned Out Differently If The Protagonists Had Had Cell Phones ]

In other news, I expect to bomb my chemistry test tomorrow (w00t.) and things are still pretty busy, but spring break is soon. And unlike usual, I’m not going to take any extra hours at work. Yes, I could use the money, but I could also use the down-time. So I’ll probably work the normal shifts at Meijer and maybe just 20 hours at CAS-IT so I can have two and a half days off completely. We’ll see how that works out.

Also, money sucks hardcore. Anyone? Anyone?